Pass My Road Test! √

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Junior year of high school was the highlight of all juniors except for one, me! I wasn’t excited simply because I did not grow up with a car. I did not see the importance of having a car until I graduated college, believe it or not. I was spoiled in college, ha! During my time in college, I had done mini driving lessons with my ex-boyfriend and my uncle – when I went to California – but in all reality I began to fear driving. I would have dreams that my “death” would be getting into a car accident. I knew too many people who have gotten into accidents. Many have made it, some did not. And because of that I thought I instantly assumed I would be one of the ones who would not make it. I have made excuses after excuses. Flash forward to 2016, I told myself that I would work on getting my license. But I started to see myself slowly making those excuses again. In the beginning of 2016, my middle sister got into two car accidents, and I allowed that to be my excuse to postpone my studies. Around November 2016, I told myself this is the day I am going to take my test. I went to visit my mom in the hospital, she gave me her blessings, and I told her I am doing this for her so I can drive her places. That day I passed my permit!!! But once I was started working towards my driving lessons – because I scheduled it to be in February 2017, I flaked and pushed it to April 2017. THEN I lost my mom, which made me postpone my driving lessons yet again. Around June I convinced myself to cut the crap and pay for a driving school. I went from being scared to pressing on the gas to then being comfortable to driving in my town from my home to Liberty State Park. I began to feel proud of myself, until July 2017 when I failed my first road test. A raining day and I made a wrong left turn. FAIL! I was distraught and disappointed in myself. I told myself fuck it until my roommate and sister that day told me otherwise, YOU GOT THIS! I practiced a little in the summer but I honestly just practiced one week before my road test. With all the spending, practicing, and self-doubting as of September 29, 2017 your girl passed the road test! Now, I am ready to frequently be on the road and perfect my skills. 

Get ready road, Destinymarie is a free woman! 😉 

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The Hearts

A broken heart can still beat

A broken heart can still laugh 

A broken heart can still smile

A broken heart can still get out of bed.

A heart can still cry

A heart can still fall apart 

A heart can still feel alone 

A heart can still scream out your name!

Now THE…

broken heart can still wonder,

                                                    when will the heart return back to normal?

                     While the heart can still admit she not okay,

As the broken heart continues to hold on to some sort of faith that she will be! 

The broken heart wants what the heart once had. 

The heart needs strength that the broken heart refuses to keep. 

The broken heart is in battle with the heart every. single. second of her new life.

But the heart is not going to give up on the broken heart,

because the broken heart deserves to always remember the life she once had 

                                                                                                       with you, Mom. 

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Goal #2: Create a GEMS retreat (√)

I am happy to announced as of September 2017 I accomplished this goal! Sometime around May I had an idea to create a retreat for my group of girlfriends from William Paterson University. My vision for the retreat were for us to self-reflect, bond, and escape from our hectic reality for a weekend. When I brought up my vision to my girls (the GEMS) they all became excited about this potential retreat, even more excited than I was. 

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To say the least, we wind up booking our retreat for one day at Bushkill, PA. I had activities such as: What GEMS said this, I love me…keep it you, I love you…keep it up. We also did a 45 minute hiking and a 15 minutes boat paddling just to simply admire nature. We laughed, shed few tears, and shared stories with one another that surprisingly out of our nine year friendship we did not even know. I can happily say we got closer and realized what we all need to do as woman to make it in our own paths of life. 

Honestly, I am amazed at how well I planned this retreat. With the bigger goal that I have planned, I now know I can plan an effective retreat. I look forward to planning our next retreat, who knows when the next one will be. But all I know is that I will be ready to make this one even better! 

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Kryptonite

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He is simply a guilty pleasure

I cannot resist every time he hops his way into my presence.

He is simply a fantasy I have lived… 

…more than once, to then realize he is no good. 

Before, 

             he was just a friend!  Nothing more nothing less.

Now,

         he is JUST the appetite to fulfill my sensuality chills! 

 

In me he probably sees a doorway to wipe his…

                               neglected seeds.

In him I see the bad boy that once had a good heart. 

He is the kryptonite

                                       to why I let him kryp • in • me • tonite! 

 

 

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